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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28426989">i'll be the chemical that helps you sleep at night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellawritess/pseuds/bellawritess'>bellawritess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>malum prompts [20]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>5 Seconds of Summer (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Early Mornings, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Rating for Language, god it's fucking 5am and my brain is melted cheese, i'm so tired bro, okay here we go. tags, this is for adri, uhh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:27:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,578</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28426989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellawritess/pseuds/bellawritess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum makes a face at him. Then he frowns. “Why are you awake right now?” And then, “Why are you dressed so nice?”</p><p>“I have my presentation today,” Michael says, and Calum feels like an idiot for forgetting. The presentation, right. Only the thing Michael’s been stressing nonstop about for weeks. “Just thought I’d get up a bit early, practice presenting, get a coffee or something like that.”</p><p>“Michael,” Calum says hoarsely, “it’s quarter to six. Your class isn’t until half eight.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Clifford/Calum Hood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>malum prompts [20]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'll be the chemical that helps you sleep at night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/petalrock/gifts">petalrock</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>there is NOTHING in my head right now. i dont know what this is, i hope it's decent but it is honestly anyone's guess</p><p>it's for adri because they wanted more malum and. yeah okay there you go that's all love you adri hope you enjoy this sorry for the it being bad. yunga</p><p>omg completely forgot that adri actually gave me a prompt for this which was: "Come here. Let me fix it." from that one list of like, 100 ways to say i love you yeah you know the one. ok cool now carry on</p><p>title from stardust by new politics</p><p>  <a href="https://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/post/639071265328644096/hey-so-like-perhaps-it-was-my-birthday-and-i">tumblr link for funsies</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bed feels wrong. Calum waves his arm around and diagnoses the problem: it’s empty apart from him.</p><p>That’s definitely not ideal.</p><p>He groggily opens his eyes, turning his head tiredly to glance at the clock. <em> 5:45am. </em> As he’s squinting around the room in displeasure, the door quietly opens.</p><p>“Mike?”</p><p>It’s Michael, and he pauses at the doorway, then slowly shuts it behind him. “Sorry, babe,” he whispers through the darkness. “Honestly tried to be quiet.”</p><p>“You…” Calum shakes his head, trying to clear some of the sleep from it. “You were. I woke up on my own.”</p><p>“You?” Michael chuckles softly. “Woke up on your own?”</p><p>Calum makes a face at him. Then he frowns. “Why are you awake right now?” And then, “Why are you dressed so nice?”</p><p>“I have my presentation today,” Michael says, and Calum feels like an idiot for forgetting. The presentation, right. Only the thing Michael’s been stressing nonstop about for weeks. “Just thought I’d get up a bit early, practice presenting, get a coffee or something like that.”</p><p>“Michael,” Calum says hoarsely, “it’s quarter to six. Your class isn’t until half eight.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says, shifting nervously. “I know.”</p><p>“So come back to bed,” Calum says, making grabby hands at Michael across the room, “and you can wake up in an hour and a half and worry about it then. You’ll make yourself crazy.”</p><p>“I couldn’t sleep anyway,” Michael admits, looking down at his feet.</p><p>Calum sighs. He’d like Michael’s presentation to be <em> done </em> already so that Michael can return to having a normal sleeping schedule, instead of staying up until the witching hours of the night and only going to bed upon incessant nagging from Calum. Last night he’d only come to bed because Calum had pressed him, pointing out that he’d no doubt do a better presentation on more sleep. Michael had conceded with concerning ease, but now Calum wonders if he’d even gotten any sleep at all.</p><p>“Tell me you slept some.”</p><p>“Yeah, I did,” Michael says. “Just not very well, and, you know. I’m just nervous. I’ll be fine after the presentation, but I just…I don’t know.”</p><p>“Michael,” Calum whines. He doesn’t really mean to whine, but he’s tired and he doesn’t have class at <em> all </em> today and he’d hoped to spend most of it asleep. “Come on. Please come back to bed. Even if you don’t sleep, it’s better for you to just lie down and pretend.”</p><p>Michael shakes his head. “I — I have to practice.”</p><p>“You’ve rehearsed this presentation so much even <em> I </em> could give it,” Calum says plainly. “Mikey.”</p><p>Michael runs a hand through his hair, then immediately winces. “Fuck, I — I had it all nice and now it’s —”</p><p>Calum personally thinks it looks way cuter like this, mussed up with a little personality, but he can see that this might be the thing that sends Michael into a spiral unless he’s careful. “It’s fine, Mike. Come here. Let me fix it.”</p><p>“I can just —”</p><p>“Come <em> here,</em>” Calum repeats, shuffling into a sitting position. He mournfully glances at the clock again and regrets it as soon as he does. <em> There will be other time for sleep, </em> he reminds himself, even though between sleeping and Michael it’s not a competition. Calum prefers to have both at once, but if he can only have one, he’ll die with eyes widen open and Michael at his side.</p><p>Michael hesitates, then approaches the bed and sits on the edge. Calum reaches up to fix his hair, smoothing it down until it sits more or less flat. His hands slide down from Michael’s head to his neck. “Michael.”</p><p>Michael exhales. “Yeah.”</p><p>There hadn’t really been more to that message; Calum just likes to say it, loves the feeling of Michael’s name on his tongue, the way Michael always seems to lighten just a little at the sound. But Michael is expecting more, and Calum can definitely do more. “You look sharp,” he says softly, leaning his forehead against Michael’s. “You’re going to make this presentation your bitch. You’re going to kick the shit out of it. I cannot imagine a world where you do badly.”</p><p>Michael closes his eyes. “Sounds like a lack of imagination on your part.”</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>Michael chuckles. “Sorry, thank you. It —” He takes a deep, sudden breath in, and puts his hands on Calum’s shoulders. “That makes me feel better.”</p><p>“Good,” Calum says. Gently, he adds, “Now let’s go get some coffee and you can do it again for me.”</p><p>Michael pauses as he processes this. “You don’t have to come. I was going to go by myself.”</p><p>“I know,” Calum says, “but you’re not going to sleep more and I am your supportive boyfriend, so I’m coming with you.” He waits for Michael to protest further, but it’s a sign of Michael’s nerves over the presentation that instead he just sighs in acceptance. “Great. Sorted. Are we going to Starbucks?”</p><p>“I love you,” Michael says abruptly, and then kisses Calum before Calum can come up with an adequate response. The kiss gives him an opportunity to think, but nothing comes of it, because Calum’s still kind of waking up and his brain is full of <em> Michael Michael Michael </em> and empty of anything else. </p><p>Returning the I-love-you is too easy, a cop-out, but he has to say something, and he cannot for the life of him think of any way to properly express how fucking much he loves Michael. How easy he finds it, loving Michael, because everything about Michael just begs to be loved. How before Michael, Calum had just been aimlessly wandering, but Michael gives him <em> direction. </em> More than that, he gives Calum a place — or at least a person — to come <em> back </em> to. Michael’s not the destination so much as he is the home base, the save point, the only thing Calum wants to return to over and over.</p><p>And how the fuck does all of that fit into <em> I love you, too</em>?</p><p>He says it anyway when they break apart, murmurs it against Michael’s mouth, eyes closed because this way it feels a little bit like a dream he’s still having. Being with Michael, everything kind of feels a little bit like a dream, although Calum knows for certain he’s not imaginative enough to come up with a life like this.</p><p>(And he’s not optimistic enough to conjure up someone like Michael. Michael’s too good for Calum’s psyche to have awarded him, which is how Calum knows that this isn’t a dream, just a reality he has to get used to having.)</p><p>Michael breathes slowly out. “Is it crazy that I kind of want to get back in bed now?”</p><p>“No,” Calum says. “You slept probably five hours, if even.”</p><p>“It’s not that I’m tired,” Michael says, shaking his head and blushing a bit. “I’d just love a cuddle.”</p><p>Calum smiles. “Well, you know I’m always up for a cuddle.”</p><p>“Yeah, but —” Michael leans away, brows furrowed. “I need to practice the presentation.”</p><p>Calum waits patiently. He doesn’t want to encourage Michael to sleep if more practice is what will be most helpful to him, but he also firmly believes lying in bed, even awake, will do Michael a world of good. </p><p>Also, he would love a cuddle.</p><p>Finally, Michael chews his lip and says, “Okay, we can cuddle for a few minutes, but then I’m getting up. You don’t have to get up with me.”</p><p>“Mikey,” Calum says sweetly, kissing his cheek, “I’m with you wherever you go.” <em> Always, </em> he doesn’t add, although he really means it.</p><p>The comment makes Michael smile, and as he crawls back into bed Calum smiles too, even more so when Michael curls himself against Calum’s, reclaiming the spot he’d surrendered when he’d gotten out of bed. It’s warm under the duvet, even warmer with Michael solidly settled into his chest, face tucked into Calum’s neck, breathing slow and steady.</p><p>“I love you so much,” Michael mumbles. His breath tickles Calum’s skin.</p><p>Calum lets his eyes shut. He has no idea if Michael will fall asleep or if, true to his word, they’ll be getting up in a few minutes, but for now he wants to completely soak up the moment. “Mikey, Mikey, Mikey,” he breathes, pressing a kiss into Michael’s hair. “You have no idea how much I love you.”</p><p>“Enough to wake up at six for me.”</p><p>“Yeah. More than that.”</p><p>“Well,” Michael hums, and Calum can already hear the slur in his voice that means he’s growing tired, “I love you more than <em> that</em>.”</p><p>Calum smiles. “You just keep believing that.”</p><p>“Mm, I will.”</p><p>In lieu of responding, Calum just tightens his hold on Michael, syncing their inhales and exhales, and sure enough Michael drifts off, fingers curled into the collar of Calum’s shirt.</p><p>It’s embarrassing to say, but yeah. Calum would wake at six every day for Michael. Calum would do fucking anything to have this exact moment for the rest of his life, for Michael to fall asleep in Calum’s arms every day until they die. Maybe to be in love is to make sacrifices, but it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice to Calum. Sleep is a small price to pay for the invaluable gift that is Michael Clifford. Although maybe <em> that’s </em> what it is to be in love: to make sacrifices willingly, to make pain feel like a privilege.</p><p>To love Michael, Calum would bear any burden.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ahhhhhhhhhhh okay im on tumblr <a href="http://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/">@clumsyclifford</a> goodnight</p></blockquote></div></div>
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